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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

To My Unborn Baby

I just got back from the SHARE support-group I have been going to and felt inspired to write this. My due date is tomorrow and I am wanting to use this time to further along the healing process from the grief I've experienced over the past 7 months:

To my unborn baby at the time I should be holding you in my arms and caressing your soft skin, I write to you of my grief and sadness for the loss of feeling you grow in my womb, the loss of hearing your first cries as you enter into a whole new world, and the loss of looking into your face for the first time and studying its features while marveling at the miracle of creation.

My arms ache to swaddle you up and hold you as the bundle of joy you were supposed to be.
My breasts ache to feed you the nourishing milk that God had placed in me to provide you with the nutrients to make you strong and healthy.
My heart aches to feel the outpouring of love and devotion to you for the rest of my existence.
My head aches with the knowledge that you were gone before I really knew you and the reality that my life will go on without you here.

Know that I had such hopes and dreams for you- seeing you smile at me for the first time, hearing your first giggle, squeezing your chubby folds of skin and listening to your soft baby sighs as you sleep; watching you grow and learn about God and all of his glorious creations; and reveling in your curiosity about the world.

You will always be a part of me and I will always remember the brief joy I felt at knowing you were growing inside of me- my sweet baby.

3 comments:

Cherie said...

That is so sweet. I hope you make it through today okay. My prayers are with you. By the way I LOVE the background.

Coltharp Golden Years! said...

Sarah, that was beautifully expressed. What a sweet idea to write something like this. I had three miscarriages and each one was painful. I think we all share in some of those same feelings when we love a baby in utero. I pray that you'll again enjoy that particular blessing you desire. I love you, Aunt Cathy

Angie said...

You were in my thoughts and prayers as well. I am sorry that your heart is struggling and you're going through such a difficult thing. You're such a dear sweet friend and I am here.